On June 12, 2013, the eve or her 33rd birthday, our beautiful foster daughter, Theresa Ann Tsosie, took her own life. Our family is sad and shocked beyond words. We love her dearly and will miss her. Following are some of my memories and thoughts.
It is with a very heavy heart that I write my thoughts about you, Theresa. You have been a part of our family for many years now, and we shall all miss you terribly. I personally will miss your visits to our home and the banter between you and Randy. You often referred to yourself as “your favorite li’l Injun.” And you know what? You are! I loved our chats. I loved your laugh and your beautiful smile. It was okay that you often came to our home to relax and “reboot,” so to speak – sometime to heal. But as I consider our relationship, it was always pretty much on your terms. You were quietly respectful of us – always – and seldom did you allow your deep-down feelings and emotions to completely emerge.
The first couple of winters you were in Pocatello, you could not get warm. You always had the heat turned up in your room, even when we thought it wasn’t necessary. And you took the longest showers ever! When we learned that you grew up with no running water on the reservation, this long-shower practice became understandable and acceptable. I still remember how thrilled you were when running water became a reality for your family in Arizona (which was well after you came to live in Idaho).
You were particular about your surroundings. When you lived with us, you were always neat and tidy, and this was true of wherever you lived. When you bought your own house, you made numerous home improvements and had the yard in better shape than it had ever been. However, you were pitiful at growing houseplants – and you were the first to admit it.
You were not one to say affectionate things, but you showed your love and appreciation through service. Occasionally you would dive in and do the dishes or other household chores, but more often, and I think it was because you loved being outside, you would mow the lawn or offer to help Randy with other yard projects. You were not afraid of hard work, and your work ethics were admirable.
One time when I was away for a few weeks with my job, I returned to find our downstairs laundry room finished off, including wall cupboards, a storage cabinet, shelves, and even a decorative hanger. You and Randy did this to surprise me – and your skill and handiwork were evident! We also have lamps, a beautiful wood picture, and other craft items you expertly made. I am grateful to have these as evidence of your talents and tokens of your love!
We loved having you come to Sunday dinner at our house. You had a “standing invitation” and came often, especially during the years that both Jared and Devin’s families were living in Pocatello and Sunday dinner together became a tradition. By then, you were no longer attending church, but you’d come and spend family time – and, yes, eat – when we gathered together. And sometimes you’d cook, too. You made such treats as fry bread, Navajo tacos, grilled salmon, and hot pasta salad. You prided yourself on eating healthily and did so most of the time. Sometimes you craved your traditional Navajo food and loved going back to the reservation and enjoying the food there.
Theresa, you were so great with all the grandkids! You played with them, tickled and teased them, and they all thought you were so fun and would beg you to play some more. Not only were you a favorite of the young children, but you were endeared to people of all ages. You possessed a unique understanding and respect for the elderly. You had friends of all ages and from all walks of life.
You were deservedly proud of your education. You studied hard and pulled yourself from being close to illiterate to being able to express yourself well, both orally and in writing.
Unfortunately, you struggled emotionally off and on throughout your life. Believe me, the years you lived in our home were tumultuous ones at first; however, at the time of your high school graduation, you had made tremendous progress in all aspects of your life and seemed to be at peace with yourself. I honestly think the happiest and most content we ever saw you was the latter part of your senior year in high school. You had gained a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, been active in the YW program and even earned your YW medallion. You enjoyed going on splits with the sister missionaries. You chose to receive your Patriarchal blessing, which was amazing and powerful. On top of that, your recurring migraine headaches were under control. You were physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy. Sadly, that did not last.
Admittedly, there are many aspects of your inner self that I never knew. But there is One who does. How very grateful I am for the Atonement and Infinite Love and Mercy of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who knows you and loves you perfectly. You are in good Hands.
Dear Theresa, until we meet again – Love You – Miss You!
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