When it Rains it Pours

Zone Leader Council day - Tuesday, December 4

7:30 a.m. -  I get a call from Kim, who is sobbing. She asks if we can take her kids to school.  Which starts at 8.  Yes, we can, but we won't get there for a while, as we are not ready for the day yet.  Randy is making Grandpa Soup.  I am putting on make-up and clothes :) 

We pick up Kim and her three kids at 8:30 in Ventura and take the kids to school, which is across town.  Kim is pretty much a basket case.  We are wondering what is going on, as I had spoken with her late afternoon on Monday.  We learn (after she takes the kids into school) that after I had talked with her Monday, she went out to get some food (I believe) and ran into the daughter of Mike (the friend whose place she and the kids are currently staying with - not Mikey, the boyfriend).  The girl had been sleeping in her car and had just awakened.  She and Kim had a conversation -- Kim asked her if she was hungry.  Yes, she was.  Kim made a very bad choice -- she let this girl take her state card. This is different than her food-stamp card, I think.  She gets $600 month on this state card and gets it around the first of the month.  Well, Kim gave this girl her card to get some food.  The girl promised to bring it over to the apartment.  She never showed up.  The girl talked to Mike's roommate at some point that night and apologized for not bringing it over and promised to do so.  But she never did. When Kim called Monday morning to check on her balance, $500 of her $600 had been taken off at an ATM.  Mike was irate with Kim and told her she never should have given [his daughter] the card, and now he was screwed!  (Kim was planning on using some of the money to help out with bills at the apartment.)  She was beside herself -- how is she going to get through the month and get Christmas for the kids?

After we took the kids to school, we took Kim to Human Services, where they took the steps to issue her another card - with the remaining $100 - to last the rest of the month.  I took Randy to the mission office, then went back and picked up Kim at Human Services, then dropped her and the baby off at another friend's place.  Kim told me she'd call, but never did.  I was able to get the number of her friend from Mike and finally spoke to her on Saturday.  We had previously invited her to the ward Christmas party -- the kids could see Santa and they would get a good, decent meal.  She told me Saturday afternoon that there was no way she could go.  She and the kids had been sleeping on the floor at her friend's (who was in the process of moving).  She hadn't showered for four days - they were all dirty and didn't have clean clothes.  So they didn't go to the ward party. 

I learned that boyfriend Mike is in jail -- picked up for car theft -- Kim's car!  Not sure exactly what the situation is there, but Kim has no car, no car seat, so getting the kids to school is so hard -- bus fare is expensive.  Mike has had the car since this whole mess began.  He claims he doesn't have it and doesn't know where it is (but trust me, he does).

Sunday

We were planning to pick Kim and the kids up for church today.  She called - again sobbing - she didn't have clean clothes, her children were being disobedient and causing problems, she was at her very wit's end.  I only understood half of what she was saying, she was so upset.  We had already borrowed a car seat for the baby and were on our way to get them, so we just went on over.  She is now in a room at an apartment with the friend who moved and her nine-year old son.  The woman who is renting will allow Kim to stay and pay the first of the month when she gets money again.  Kim is stressed to the max and falling apart.  I am worried about her.  We left some ham, potatoes, and rolls -- leftovers from the ward party. We took Ashlyn and Damien to church with us, but Kim and Audrina did not go.  When we took the kids back after Primary, Kim was not there but had gone shopping for some groceries (so said her friend.) This apartment is not in the most desirable part of town, but at least it's a step to . . .  somewhere. 

This all breaks my heart, and I wish there was more we could do to help.  The church has helped her quite a lot already. ~~  No wonder the kids are acting up -- they have no stability at all.  Kim says she feels like she is being punished.  She said, "My life isn't supposed to be like this."  and "I just want to walk out the door."  and "I can't take it any more."  Yes, I am worried about her.  With zone conferences this week, we will be so busy we won't be able to be in contact much.

Oh, and Mike - the so-called friend she stayed with for a couple of weeks, took her note pad where she had the kids SSNs, contact phone numbers, her car's license plate number, and other important stuff -- ripped out those pages.  She needs all that information and he isn't giving it.

I think it's pouring for Kim right now.